Being Like Jesus

I am a part of a group who is trying to become the leaders God has called us to be. We are currently trying to define what an "elder" really is according to scripture, and how can be fulfill that position adequately. We've all seen the system that's in place in most churches fail. People get hurt.

Frankly, I think as long as we as people are involved, others will get hurt. We hurt each other, especially when we get close. We don't mean to. It just happens. We try to avoid it. But it happens. I have unintentionally hurt every member of my family at one time or another. The key, I think, is to take responsibility for our actions, and apologize sincerely whether the pain inflicted on others is intentional or not.

I was involved in a miscommunication situation recently, and I hurt a friend of mine. I didn't mean to hurt her, but she was hurt anyway. I took full responsibility for the miscommunication, and apologized from my heart. She opened up then, and shared some more concerns she had about the way she felt my husband and I had been treating her and her family. It gave us an opportunity to clear the air. And it was good. We left that "conflict" with a deeper appreciation for each other, and a new depth in our friendship.

That's the way we as leaders should behave. Really, I think we are all called to be leaders in one capacity or another. It's so important to set the right example, to really act like we think Jesus would, based on our understanding of His behavior in the Bible.

When our pastor read that last night from the book we are studying alongside the Bible, I felt such discouragement. My background is kind of "works-based." I see Jesus working. Not playing. And I love to play! I'm musical. Would Jesus write music today? I love to scrapbook. Would He do that? I am a woman. I know I should serve my family by providing them with a clean house, good meals, fresh laundry, etc., yet the only mention of this in the Word that comes to mind, is where Jesus told Martha that Mary sought the more important things than these when Martha complained that Mary had left her with all the chores. So should no one have fixed the food? Should we not serve? Should we all just sit at Jesus' feet? This has always confused me a little. I think that really what Jesus was probably speaking to, was Martha's complaining heart. Mary wanted to be closer to Jesus. I think in getting closer to Jesus, I will see serving others as more of a privilege, not a chore. Perhaps Martha would have seen this, had she known Jesus' heart better.

So rather than being discouraged at the thought of doing only what Jesus would do, I should be encouraged. His heart is for our success in Him. He wants me to become more like Him. I want that too. Sometimes it's hard because I am so selfish. I want to do my own thing. I want MY space. I'm one of those people who likes to be alone. I like silence. I like playing music as loud as I want. I like deciding when to eat and when not to eat. But serving is a privilege. I would not trade my family for all the solitude in the world. I love them dearly, and have found my own life to be so enriched by them. I see such awful things in my heart, that I know I would never have seen if they didn't live with me, and help me into situations that bring out my worst! I need to see this, so I can submit it to the Lord, and be changed! And I am so thankful.

So it's not really a dillema at all. It's all about loving Jesus and, through Him, others, more than myself.


A worthy goal indeed.

Jesus, help me to become more like you. You always did the right thing, and when you didn't know what to do, you asked your Father. Help me to follow your example, and do only what the Father directs. Thank you!

Three strange things happened this weekend, but they are all connected:

First, I was at a small gathering of lady friends on Saturday. One of my friends told another that I have 5 daughters, then turned to me for confirmation. I corrected her, and said that I only have 4 daughters, but it's not the first time I've been accused of having more. I guessed that I was the 5th girl in the group since I am often young at heart in my behavior.

Second, that same Saturday evening, my oldest daughter (14), told me that a friend of hers, whom we have known since she was an infant, had called that day. She had told my daughter, in the course of conversation, that she had had another dream: the third such dream in the last 6 months. She dreamed that she met the fifth Arwood daughter. She said in the dream this girl had the "Arwood" look, and blonde straight hair. She was called "Grace" or "Gracie" in the dream.

Third, we happened upon old friends at lunch on Sunday. We have known each other since we all married in the same year, 17 years ago (1989). We decided to sit with them there at the restaraunt, and while they were introducing us to the lady they were already lunching with, my friend--who has known me for 17 years now--told this woman that I have 5 daughters, not 4 as the woman guessed having seen them sitting together. My head snapped around as I stared, open-mouthed, at my long-time friend in shock. She knew I have 4 daughters. What would cause her to say, "No, she has 5 girls..."

So, SO, weird.

What does it mean? Probably nothing. After all, if God is speaking to me, He could just tell me to my heart. Why don't I WANT more children, if that is His desire for me? I would like to think I have my desires subimitted to His will. Maybe I just don't want to hear His voice in this. Maybe it's all just happenstance.

Maybe not.

I don't know. All I know is that I'm pretty weirded out about it. Three times in one weekend? Come on! Give me a break! That's just uncanny! I am listening, Lord. Are You speaking? Or not?

In any case, it's gotta be a lot more clear than it is if God is trying to tell me something. Bringing a life into this world is actually a huge thing, and not to be entertained lightly. Believe me, after bringing four children into this family, I KNOW it's a big deal. It might mean my whole reproductive system to allow another pregnancy. I'm a little person. Having 4 children (actually 5 pregnancies) has taken a toll on my inner organs and the connections holding everything together. Perhaps that's where the whole "five daughers" thing comes in: I lost one between the second and third successful births.

Who knows? God does! He may or may not decide to let me in on it. Until then, I'll just continue on as I have, trusting that He is leading us in our decisions.

One Hundred Random Things About Me

1. I love being married.
2. I enjoy having four daughters.
3. I am a night owl.
4. When I was 9, I prayed for a pet, but we traveled for a living. I think we stopped traveling so God could answer my prayer. We got a dog we named Jana which means, "God is gracious."
5. I am a second-generation home-schooler.
6. My Mom and I share the same month for a birthday (February).
7. I'm learning to like cooking (after 17 years of marriage to a guy who really enjoys his food!)
8. Meal-time is special to me for the fellowship we share around the table.
9. My passport has lots of stamps in it from missions trips.
10. It's been 8 years since my last missions trip ('sup with that?!...Oh, yeah, I've been doin' the family thing!)

11. I have a great relationship with my parents.
12. I'm not aggressive with friendships (I'm real content alone and with my family).
13. I'm not overly tidy.
14. But I do laundry every day!
15. I didn't have a cat until after I had 4 children.
16. I like having a cat.
17. I'm a night owl.
18. I really like Salsa flavored Doritos.
19. I enjoy photography.
20. I think my in-laws are the nicest people!

21. I don't like spinning amusement park rides, but the coasters are fun.
22. Diet Coke is yummy, but Tab is even better!
23. I like home-grown veggies, but have never ever gardened.
24. I've also never mowed a lawn.
25. I like to sew, but have not sewn many articles of clothing.
26. I have re-upholstered a dozen or so pieces of furniture.
27. I love climbing trees, but have not done so much in my adult life.
28. I keep a journal.
29. I'm a night owl.
30. I'm a romantic (love candles and music!).

31. I like taking walks.
32. I never had a boyfriend or dated before getting engaged. He was so worth waiting for!
33. Though under a hundred pounds, I wore a "large" size when in Taiwan. They are little people.
34. I'm not under a hundred pounds any more.
35. When I was in Hong Kong, I enjoyed riding the train every day.
36. I was unprepared for the unrelenting heat in the mountains of the Philippines.
37. Now I live in South Georgia, and the heat is more familiar.
38. I had all four of my children in the same hospital.
39. I am a night owl.
40. I can type with my eyes closed.

41. I like to write music.
42. I can play the guitar, and would love to play piano better.
43. I started singing harmony by ear when I was 7.
44. I have two brothers, who both have awesome wives!
45. I wish we all lived closer together.
46. I am a night owl.
47. I don't like many regular weekly commitments.
48. I like to travel, but really enjoy being at home.
49. My favorite color is purple.
50. I like to put on a familiar movie while doing craft projects.

51. I actually HAVE a "Happy Place." It's the front room of my home, and it's where I have all my scrapbooking supplies, sewing machine, computer, and recliner.
52. My honey and I have only taken one anniversary trip, despite 17 anniversaries. Hmm.
53. We plan to tour Europe together alone one day.
54. I've always wanted to go to England since I was a little girl.
55. When I was 9, we lived in Southern California, and I remember many nights staying up way past everyone else, painting, cutting out paper dolls, and drawing while listening to Bible Stories on tape. Happy memories, those!
56. A little later (14-ish?) I began reading more.
57. I hated "short-hand" in highschool.
58. I hated accounting worse. Debit and Credit seemed backwards to me.
59. I am a much better student now than when I was younger.
60. I still don't spell well.

61. I am really good at grammar!
62. When I was 10, my friend, Amy and I used to love playing "bank" with her mother's returned checks, a stamp pad, and date stamp. We felt quite grown up.
63. I always liked being with grown-ups better than children.
64. I still like being with grown-ups better.
65. My hair is naturally curly.
66. I like cereal better than ice cream.
67. I love notebooks.
68. I like grocery shopping.
69. I'm not much of a clothing shopper though.
70. I enjoy the beach immensely.

71. I like having a cup of Starbucks coffee every morning.
72. My sweet husband usually fixes that first mug of coffee and brings it to me!
73. Our church is informal, and when we gather, I am still working on that first cup of coffee, and I enjoy co-ordinating the mug I bring with me with my outfit. Heh heh!
74. I like hot tea at night.
75. Night time is my favorite time of day.
76. I let my children stay up far too late. (but they love it!)
77. My husband is a great disciplinarian, but an even better life example for our children to follow.
78. I really enjoy my girls' company.
79. I didn't learn to delegate well until after I had 4 children, an e-coli infection, and a month of bed rest.
80. I am not overly health-conscious with my diet.

81. Last year I started taking a nutritional supplement, and for the first time in my life, have been consistent with it. I'm still taking it, and it makes a difference!
82. I like most soups.
83. I like to change the bedding and decor of my bedroom with the seasons. My husband likes the masculine fall look best.
84. My favorite kitchen equipment is the crock pot. Oh--and the dishwasher!
85. I'm particular about how my clothes are folded.
86. My closet is organized (pants & skirts together, shirts next, coats and jackets on the other rack....)
87. My Happy Place stays untidy with projects (sigh with rolling of the eyes)
88. My children are welcome to be creative in my space with me (but they have to clean up their stuff).
89. We have no regular chores on Sundays!
90. I never lived in a house with a pool.

91. I lived in 7 different houses in 2 States during my first 19 years of life.
92. The first house we bought after marrying was paid off in 11 years.
93. Christmas is my favorite holiday season.....
94. ....but Fall is my favorite time of the year. (temps. come down; it's when I met my honey; it's when 3 of my 4 children were born; it heralds the coming of Christmas!)
95. I've been a Christian since I accepted Jesus' offer of forgiveness when I was three.
96. We sang our blessing over the food in 5-part acapella harmony no matter where we were for most of my teen years. I loved that!
97. I ate seaweed at a camp in Hong Kong.
98. I'm not very athletic.
99. I enjoy driving.
100. I am a night owl.